paulmignard

I’ve been trying to do some new things this year that either a.) simplify my life or b.) make it better. First it was learning how to type – I don’t need to belabor it here (as I have in other posts) but it was obviously a step in the right direction as I no longer need to stare straight down at my keyboard while attempting to type even the most mundane of sentences. Granted, it may not have helped any of you as I now have the ability to crank out way more words than I could have before but still, I thought it was a good move.

Next up – I stopped drinking sodas, mainly coke and pepsi. In 2009 I have not had a single coke or pepsi whereas before, I would consume at least one or the other daily (not counting when we would go out to eat where I would probably down 5-6 refills…I’m a nervous drinker I guess. ) Overall, this wasn’t too hard because I was still drinking coffee so I didn’t have any caffeine withdrawals…which brings us to today:

I going to stop drinking coffee, like right now.

I have a pretty solid coffee regimine where I probably drink 5-9 cups of coffee a day (assuming a cup of coffee is about 6 ounces.) I carry around one of those silly stainless steel thermo-mug things (the ones that look like Robocops missing forearm) full of coffee in very much the same way my son carries around his sippee cup full of milk…except he’ll grow out of that, and I’ll still be carrying mine around. Mainly though, I found that coffee has provided me some pretty adverse side effects:

• My breath smells like coffee – which is, well, it’s pretty gross to be honest with you. Maybe some people can drink coffee and have the breath of a spring unicorn eating a bush full of Listerine bisquits but I’m certainly not one of them. I’d like to stop it with the coffee breath.
• I’m nervous it’s staining my teeth. Well, I’m actually sure it is….
• It’s expensive. I make coffee at home but it only takes one or two large coffees from just about anywhere to destroy any savings you have from making it at home.
• I need coffee. Like, if i don’t have it soon after I wake up I start having withdrawals like some common crack fiend. Now, there are some comparisons to crack fiends that could be favorable, like: “He saved that guy from a burning building like he was a crack fiend saving his crack!” but for all intensive purposes – having withdrawals on Saturday morning when I should be playing with my son is not cool.
• The energy from the caffeine is a lie. Sure, it amps me up pretty good – but honestly, it’s a muddled energy. I’m jumpy, excitable, and edgy and I find it really difficult to focus on any given task.
• Drinking all the coffee means I keep a lot of gum on hand…and now I’m developing an addiction to gum. This one isn’t that bad though because gum is freakin’ awesome.
• My sleep patterns are all messed up. I have a hard time going to sleep, and not having a good night of sleep just totally sucks.

So there you go, tomorrow I will wake up, exercise, and then take an exorbitant amount of tylenol to fend off the massive headache that will be attempting to pound my skull into bacon grease by about 11 in the morning. Hopefully, by Tuesday I should be somewhat coherent and I’ll try to update the blog to let you know the aftermath. Just the fact that I’m going to have to go through this is almost enough of a reason to stop drinking coffee…